To Grow
by Swift tales
Summary: This story is unrequited Eric/Ryan and Ryan/? pairings. This is a SLASH story, so be warned. Ryan likes Eric, but there is an old flame he knew before his time at the crime lab, who he never really forgot.
1. Chapter 1

Chapter 1

The interrogation room is stifling, the air humid and oppressive. Rick is the one that called Ryan in here, but he doesn't really want to be here. Ryan's sitting across from Rick, his hands clasped in front of him on the table. He seems to be staring at the table top, his eyes sometimes flickering up in Rick's direction. His expression is a cross between anger, frustration and a slight, almost unnoticeable, hint of fear.

"Have you ever seen Eric Delko use Marihuana or do drugs of any kind?" He asks Ryan, his eyes not straining from Ryan's form. Ryan keeps looking at him, one eyebrow slightly raised. His answer is immediate, without hesitation.

"No."

"Have you ever seen him purchase Marihuana or any drugs?" Rick asks, slightly leaning backwards in his seat. There is a frown on his forehead and Rick doesn't know whether it's because he's annoyed at Rick or because he…Rick doesn't finish that thought.

"No."

"Have you ever seen him with any drug paraphernalia?" Rick asks him, sitting up straight and leaning slightly forward. Ryan looks away from him almost immediately, first blankly in front of him and then to the side. Rick recognizes the signs. Ryan's always been a terrible liar.

"I've eum…" he clears his throat and thinks for a minute, "I've never seen him with anything illegal."

Rick can practically smell the chance and he jumps on it. "It doesn't have to be anything illegal, a pipe is legal, certain syringes are legal. What did you see?" Ryan looks at him, an almost pleading look in his eyes and for a minute Rick flashes back to times long past. He pushes it away. Ryan doesn't say anything and you lay your hands on the table. "Need I remind you that you are under oath here?" It's not really a question.

He leans forward. "I know."

"Then what did you see him with?" Rick's stressing the words and Ryan looks at him, his eyes so very green and he is silent.

He looks away and then frowns. "Rolling papers." He closes his eyes briefly before looking back at Rick.

Rick resists the urge to smile broadly. "What did you think they were for?"

Ryan knows that the question is completely unnecessary, he knows that Rick is playing with him. He looks at Rick now, anger in his eyes and his mouth is drawn in a tight line. "Tobacco."

_Gotcha _

"Have you ever known Eric Delko to smoke cigarettes?"

Your eyes meet and he looks angry, so very angry and a slight flicker of disappointment burns in his eyes. Rick wants to shake his head and coo at him and say: don't act like you want special treatment, Ry.

"No." He says, his voice tight like there is a lump in his throat and Rick can feel the satisfaction coursing through him, only hindered slightly by the longing that bubbles up in his chest at the sight of Ryan. He crushes that down ruthlessly, that was a long time ago and he doesn't need that anymore.

"Then you didn't think they were for tobacco."

Ryan's eyes flicker to meet Rick's before looking away again. He looks so miserable and a part of Rick wonders how he can do this to Ryan. And then he shakes it off, he's older, Ryan's older and they've both changed. It doesn't really matter anymore.

"Can I go now?" Ryan asks and Rick nods.

When Eric Delko pops positive for THC Rick escorts him out of the building and of course, Horatio tries to stop him.

"Where are you taking him, Rick?"

Rick pauses and resists the urge to close his eyes. Instead he smirks and brings an almost gleeful tone to his voice.

"He popped positive, Horatio."

_How perfect is your little team now, Caine?_

"I'm sure there's an explanation."

Rick turns to face the red-haired devil with Eric Delko standing on his right. The anger surges through him, why can't Caine ever leave you alone?

"Can you explain why one of his colleagues ratted him out?" Rick doesn't mention Ryan's name, it would be really fair to him, seeing as he hadn't had any intention of ratting Eric out and actually tried his very best to protect the guy. But Horatio Caine doesn't know that, he wasn't there when Ryan was being questioned and there is no way Rick will be the one to tell him.

Ryan is standing behind Horatio, next to Calleigh. His hands are on his hips and Rick's eyes briefly flicker to him and the expression on his face before they settle back on Horatio.

"I can't." The red-head answers and Rick wants to laugh in pure glee.

But he keeps it in and merely smirks. "He's going to IAB for questioning."

"He knows the way." Horatio answers, his head slightly tilted to the left.

Rick feels righteous, he feels smug, so very smug. "Protocol says…" There is no way he won't try to humiliate Delko every step of the way as long as this painful situation lasts, as long as it takes to carry this through to its inevitable conclusion.

Caine interrupts him. "I don't care about protocol, he's not a criminal."

Rick takes a slightly more defensive tone, keeping an air of false friendliness around you. "I'm not saying he is. It's just procedure states he can't drive a county vehicle."

"Then I'll drive him. Eric, I'll meet you downstairs."

Caine doesn't even acknowledge Rick when he makes that decision and it's enough to make the beginnings of anger seep into his head. Delko nods, mouths okay, gives Rick a look and then walks away, into the elevator. Rick feels like pointing out that Caine is directing Delko like a father would an unruly child.

Horatio takes two steps towards Rick and he can still see Ryan standing behind the red head further down the hall. His green eyes are looking straight at Rick, frowning. Caine's voice pulls him back. "What are you doing?"

Rick makes a step forward as well, feigning ignorance. "I don't know what you're asking."

"This is not about Eric, is it? This is about you and me."

If Caine hadn't guessed the truth, Rick wouldn't have believed the arrogance of him. But Caine has always been arrogant, so confident, so sure of his own abilities and his understanding of others. He thinks he has Rick all figured out, doesn't he? And while Rick can't deny that Caine knows, understands, certain things about him, there is a whole lot the red head doesn't understand.

And that's where his greatest mistakes lie. Caine always assumes that he knows everything and if he doesn't know everything, he'll somehow use his amazing powers of deduction to figure it all out by himself. It makes him blind, makes it easy for him to judge the people he thinks are the scum of the earth.

Rick shakes his head slightly while he speaks. "I don't have time for this, Horatio."

It's a lie, because Rick does have the time for this, because Caine is right. He's the reason Rick is doing this, partially anyway. His eyes flicker to Ryan's briefly before going back to Horatio immediately. You don't want him to know or suspect. And while Rick thinks that Caine over estimates himself, he also knows that Caine is exceptionally gifted in the art of observation.

"I want an answer." He tells Rick, cocking his head sideways again and Rick wonders if he really thinks that posture urges people to tell the truth. Maybe Caine thinks it's intimidating. He entertains the notion of telling Caine it really isn't and see the expression on his face.

"You want an answer?" Rick asks and Caine nods slightly. "Okay, I'll give you an answer." And Rick takes a step forward.

"Your name wasn't the only one on Lieutenant's list for promotion. I scored better then you. I interviewed better then you. Now, I don't know what favour you pulled for the chief. But the promotion was mine. Now the only thing I can do to make lieutenant is this IAB crap. And everybody hates IAB."

Rick's little speech hasn't rattled Caine at all and he lets the smirk shine through on his face. Let Caine think he has Rick all figured out. Let Caine think he knows just what makes Rick tick. Let Caine think it's all about him. His arrogance will ensure that he'll never look beyond that.

"Don't punish my lab over it."

He's trying to be noble, trying to get Rick to focus on him instead of his team. Well, tough luck, because Rick never liked the whole noble thing anyway. And Rick knows that Caine is arrogant enough to believe that he doesn't have to play dirty to save his lab from Rick and the IAB.

"I'm just evening the score."

Guaranteed to piss Caine off.

"This is a dangerous game."

"It's one I intend to win." Oh yes, Rick is going to win. He just isn't sure yet what it is that he wants to win. His eyes flicker back to Ryan, but the young man is already gone. He turns back to look at Caine. "I'll see you."

Rick walks away.

TBC


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2

"Horatio, this is Monica West from the State's Attorney's Office." Rick says, standing next to the over confident woman. It's finally time to get this show on the road. Rick is going to take down Horatio Caine by taking his team down, one by one.

"Sergeant Stetler, on what grounds did you test Eric Delko?" Horatio asks.

Rick leans forward slightly. He doesn't know what Caine is up to, but he isn't going to let the Caine get away with it. "Grounds, reasonable suspicion."

"Based on?"

Rick can almost see where Caine is going with this. "Based on the identification of said employee as a suspect in a criminal investigation involving illegal drugs." Rick had made sure everything had been done by the book. He hadn't had any intention of loosing this gold opportunity to a mere technicality.

"Through reliable and credible sources, that's how the policy goes, right?"

Rick almost frowns, because he can definitely see where Caine is going with this. It won't matter though. Eric Delko popped positive and Monica West is just enough of a career woman to understand what it would do to said career if she brought down an officer of the lab who was doing drugs.

"Who was your source, sir?" She asks Rick and he bites his lip.

He shifts slightly on his feet. "Mr. Johnny Nixon."

"Let me get this clear," Rick can almost hear the glee in Caine's voice. "Your source is a known drug trafficker and an accomplice to murder. Is that right?"

Rick takes a deep breath and glances towards Monica before looking back at Caine. He can feel two pair of eyes burning their way through his skull. "What about the urine test? Delko tested positive." And damnit! That has to mean something!

"His exposure was passive." Horatio says, like it's clear as day that Eric Delko would never do pot. And actually, it is.

Monica frowns and turns to look at Rick. "Do you have any evidence the THC came from active use?"

"Well, there really is no way to tell if…" Rick trails off and his eyes flicker to meet Caine's. He has Rick where he wants him. The roles have reversed. Rick resists the urge to clench his jaw and grind his teeth. "No."

"Sergeant Stetler, if that's all you have I'm afraid my office could never take the word of a doper over that of a cop."

"Miss West, there are considerations-"

She doesn't let him finish. "We're done here."

She's probably angry that she can't take Delko down. He doesn't blame her, not really. Rick is quite angry himself. He thought it was waterproof, only to have Caine poke a whole it in so big, it made his plans run down the drain like filthy bath water.

"I would agree." Horatio says, giving Rick one last piercing look before walking away. Rick stands there for a moment longer, one hand on his hip and looking thoughtfully at the ground before walking away as well.

There is no point in dwelling on this, Eric Delko is of the hook for the moment and Rick'll just have to be patient and find another way to take down a member of the golden team.

When he leaves the lab, on his way home, thinking he needs to get some rest and some food and he'll bounce back in no time, he almost freezes in his tracks when he catches sight of them.

Eric Delko and Ryan Wolfe, they're talking quietly with each other and Ryan is smiling softly and Eric is nodding to whatever the younger man is saying. Rick can almost see the sparks between them and he grinds his teeth together. The jealousy flares through him like a hot knife and he wants to go over there and drag Ryan along by his hair, away from Eric Delko. But he simply turns around and walks away. What is it any business of his that Ryan has moved on? Ryan was the one who'd walked away from them, after all.

It doesn't matter that Rick hasn't taken a new lover since Ryan left. He grips his suitcase tightly and walks down the steps in front of the Miami Dade Crime Lab.

When he finally comes home, he kicks off his shoes and flops down on the couch. He opens the brief case and pulls out a copy of the file he's currently working on. He still has a real job to do besides trying to take down Horatio Caine and his golden team. He absent-mindedly flips through it, but he can't focus and drops it back down on the coffee table.

Rick leans back against the back rest of the couch and lets his head drop back. God, he's tired and tense. He rolls his shoulders in hope of getting rid of some of the tension but it doesn't work. For a minute he thinks back to when his younger lover used to rub his shoulders and work out the knots in his back.

Rick pushes the memory away. He doesn't understand. After the relationship had ended, he'd managed not to think about it for almost two years. He might not have had another relationship since they broke up, but that hardly mattered. He's missed Ryan, pinned away for him. But then he started planning on taking Caine down and that had managed to keep Ryan out of his thoughts.

But then, two years ago, Ryan had started working at the crime lab and Rick had been confronted by him on a nearly daily basis. It was difficult to push him out of his thoughts now. Rick sighs and rubs his temples. Ryan had been so young when they'd started their relationship, so very young. He'd been in his first year of college, studying for his Bachelor in Chemistry, already thinking ahead to his Masters in Genetics. Rick had been working at the crime lab already. You were ambitious and so was Ryan.

After Megan had taken a long time off to get over the death of her husband, the city had felt pressured to appoint a new Lieutenant, seeing as no one knew when she would come back. Rick had finally seen his chance to get promoted. He scored high on the test and did an excellent interview, he was qualified.

Rick had been ready for it. And then, the position had gone to Horatio Caine. Rick had hardly been able to believe it when he'd first heard it. He'd been the best candidate for the position and they still gave it to Horatio Caine. It pissed him off and to make matter worse, when he'd come home that day, Ryan had been gone. His things had been cleared out of the apartment and the only thing left was a note and the key Rick had given him.

The note read: I'm sorry, but I think this is for the best, I don't want to get in the way.

Rick hadn't tried to contact Ryan to ask what he'd meant by that, because he'd had a pretty good idea. A week earlier one of the numerous tabloid magazines in Miami had released the story of an officer in a high ranking position who was gay.

They'd had promiscuous pictures of the two lovers together. The officer had been in his thirties and he'd been dating a college kid. It had become a scandal. Tabloids had started insinuating that the older officer had abused his position of authority inside of society to "force the young Terry Conner into becoming a victim to his own sick perversions." Everything had spiralled out of control despite the young man's insistence that he'd been the one to approach the older man for a relationship.

Everything quieted down after a while, of course, as soon as the new wore off. But the damage had already been done and cops weren't exactly known for being the most tolerant of people. It had started slowly, but the harassment of the older officer had quickly become obvious. His locker was vandalized, no one wanted to be assigned to work with him and his back up was always late. Finally, he'd resigned and left the city, maybe even the state.

His job had been made impossible, his reputation had been ruined forever, he'd lost his entire career. Rick and Ryan had argued about it a couple of times. There were some similarities between their own relationship and the relationship between the other officer and the college kid. After all, Rick was in his early thirties and Ryan was still going to college. If their relationship went public, it could have meant the end of Rick's career and Ryan probably wouldn't have had a chance to start his.

Rick had wanted to stay in their relationship and so had Ryan, but the two of them had still argued about it. It could destroy Rick's career, could prevent Ryan's career from ever happening. But at the same time they hadn't wanted to walk away from each other. Besides, they were gay. What were they going to do? Stay alone and celibate for their entire lives just because they were afraid of a scandal?

But was their relationship more important then their dreams?

Basically, the argument had gone in circles until it made Rick dizzy. And then Ryan had walked away, claiming it was for the best and Rick hadn't gone after him. Rick hadn't wanted to be confronted by the fact that eventually Ryan had valued his chance of a career more then he'd valued their relationship. That he'd loved his studies and his future job more then he'd ever loved Rick.

Rick sighed and leaned back in his seat. He supposed it didn't matter anymore. Ryan had made his choices and anyway, Ryan was part of Horatio Caine's team now. If Rick wanted to take down Caine he'd have to take down Ryan too, didn't he? But Rick wasn't sure if he'd be able to go after Ryan as ruthlessly as he'd gone after Delko.

After all, he still loved Ryan, more then he'd ever loved his job.

TBC


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter 3

Rick sighs and leans back in his chair, throwing down his pen in frustration. His mind keeps wandering and he doesn't see himself finishing his paperwork any time soon. He presses his palms into his eyes and groans.

His head has been thinking non-stop, running a mile a minute and showing him all kinds of things he'd rather close his eyes to. He can't focus or concentrate and it's driving him crazy. He's a grown man for Christ's sake, he should be able to put his emotions aside and do his job.

But the truth is, he hasn't been able to concentrate ever since he saw Ryan and Eric talking together. He should have known that Ryan wasn't going to stay alone forever, after all, he's a young, good looking man. He could easily find someone. And what if he found someone in Eric? It isn't any of Rick's business even if the jealousy is eating at him. Even if Rick can't help but wonder why Ryan would risk his job for Eric and not for Rick.

He can still see them together in his mind's eye, smiling and laughing and talking. He grits his teeth and stands up from his desk. He needs to get some fresh air. He leaves his office and walks down the halls before exiting into the parking lot.

The IAB office building is located only a few blocks away from the Miami Dade Crime Lab and he needs to pay a visit to check some things out. There's an ongoing investigation about a few cops who are more then probably confiscating pot from drug dealers and keeping more then half to sell it themselves. It's an easy way to make some extra cash, if you don't get caught. Only, they have been caught and Rick's going to take them down.

He just wishes he doesn't have to go to the lab today. He's not really in the mood to see Ryan, or Delko and Ryan together. If he's lucky, Ryan will be away at a crime scene and he won't run into the younger man. But judging from the way his luck has been going lately, he'll probably run straight into Ryan and Delko making out or something.

Just when he's leaving the lab and he thinks Lady Luck must be smiling down at him today he comes face to face with Ryan in the parking lot. Instead of going on walking Rick stops and so does Ryan and he's searching for something to say.

"Hello Ryan."

Rick can see him hesitate, wondering if he should just nod at Rick and keep walking or if he should actually strike up a conversation or something. Apparently, he decides on the conversation, because he gives Rick a wan smile. "Hello… officer Stetler."

Rick nearly bristles at Ryan calling him 'officer Stetler' as if he were nothing more then someone he worked with, someone he respected because of their jobs. It's nothing different from how they've been treating each other ever since Ryan started working at the crime lab, but it still stings. There hasn't always been so much space between them and it makes Rick realize just how much he would give if he could only close that gulf between them.

And then, for once in his life, he's impulsive and decides that maybe it's time they actually did try and talk, work some things out. And maybe build a bridge between them again. "I was wondering, if you'd like to go out and get something to drink? Just as friends."

Rick's brain is screaming at him, _What the fuck are you doing?,_ but he can't stop himself. What's been growing in his mind for the last year and a half, ever since Ryan started working in the crime lab, finally bursts through the front door, his mouth. He wants to make things better again, like he should have tried to do the minute he came home to an empty apartment.

He allows himself to indulge in the memories for a while before gently putting them back in the box. He looks at Ryan, whose eyes are wide and uncertainty is flashing across his pale features. He hesitates, shifting his weight from one foot to the other and then, finally, nods his agreement.

"Alright, just as friends…I'll you what, my shift ends in fifteen minutes and if I don't get a new case before that, I'll see you at Cilliano's."

Cilliano's was a bar that they'd frequented often as a couple and Rick smiles.

"Alright, Cilliano's it is."

They say their goodbyes and Rick heads for his car. He's doing cartwheels inside his head and his mind is strangely silent save for a buzzing of excitement. There's a strange feeling in his gut and there's a goofy smile on his face, he's sure.

Ryan watches Rick walk away before walking towards the lab. He finishes logging in his evidence and makes his way to the locker room. He's not sure what to expect, Rick and him haven't really talked since he decided to walk away from Rick years ago. Ryan frowns at the memory and blocks it out. It was for the best, Rick was going to get promoted, Ryan was almost ten years his junior and if their relationship had leaked out, it could have been dangerous to both their careers.

But Ryan can't help but wonder what his life would have looked like for these last four years if he hadn't walked away then. Would the both of them still be a couple or would they have split up? Would they still be living together in Rick's apartment or would they have gotten a new place, together?

Ryan sighs and opens his locker, he changes into a clear shirt and lays his gun and his badge on the shelf of his locker. When the door is closed again, he leans his forehead against the cool metal and takes a deep breath. He's not sure if this is such a good idea. He doesn't want to bring all kinds of emotions and memories back to the surface. There's plenty of stuff in his head he's buried years ago.

Ryan checks the time on his cell phone and nods to himself, he's off duty now and he's not on call tonight. He makes his way back to the parking lot and is just about to get in his car when he hears a voice call out his name.

"Ryan!"

"Hey, Eric, I didn't see you." Ryan says with an apologetic smile on his face. It's possible that Ryan walked straight pat him while his mind was filled with thoughts of his old lover.

The Cuban smiles and shakes his head. "Doesn't matter, I just got off shift and from the looks of things, so did you. Do you want to get something to drink?" There is a flirty tone to his voice now and Ryan finds himself blushing despite himself.

He likes Eric and he's definitely attracted to him, which isn't difficult because Eric is wonderful and sexy and flirty. He knows that if he lets himself, he could probably have something with Eric, but in the back of his mind, he always wonders if he and Rick….

Eric sees his blush and immediately reacts, putting a step forward and resting a hand on Ryan's arm. He gives Ryan a flirty smile and for just a minute, Ryan doesn't know what to do. Eric's been flirting with him for a while now, ever since that time he got a nail in his eye. They weren't as angry at each other as they used to be after that one, it created a sort of bond between the two of them. And Eric has been pushing the limits of that new found friendship ever since. Ryan knows about Eric's reputation, of course, and he's well aware that all he could be interested in is another notch on his bedpost. But at the same time, Ryan thinks that he might be sincere. Because Eric knows that Ryan's not the kind of guy who has meaningless flings with anyone and why would he risk that kind of tension between them now that they've just resolved their anger?

And he likes Eric, he really does. Now that he's gotten over his anger with Eric, he can see that Eric's a really nice guy. He's charming, funny and sexy. Ryan wants to give in, wants to tell Eric that he just has to take care of something and Ryan'll meet him later, but he can't because it's not fair to Eric and to himself if he tries to start something while he's still in love with someone else.

So Ryan smiles but takes a step backwards so his arm slips away from underneath Eric's hand. He shakes his head. "I'm sorry Eric, I'd love to, but I'm not quite…" He fidgets slightly, considering what to say and suddenly Eric nods in understanding.

The Cuban puts a hand on Ryan's shoulder and smiles again. "It's okay man, I understand. But if you change your mind, you can call me." Then Eric pulls Ryan close and presses his mouth against his. The kiss is hot and slightly hungry and Ryan trembles faintly. Eris is a very good kisser. But then he pulls away and after one more smile, Eric walks away, a swagger in his step. Ryan watches him get into his car and drive off.

Ryan sighs to himself and shakes his head, why can't he just get over Rick? It shouldn't be that difficult, it's been four years, two of which he's been working at the lab and seeing a lot more of Rick, but still, Ryan should have been over him by now. He gets into his car and drives off, he has an appointment with Rick, after all, and he's never missed an appointment before. When he gets to the bar, he parks his car and gets out quickly. He enters the building and his eye immediately falls on Rick. He slips into the seat next to the older man.

When the barman comes over Ryan orders a coffee, which he sips gingerly while Rick takes slow pulls from his beer. Finally, he can't take it anymore and start the conversation.

"I thought you wanted to talk to me?"

Ryan sees him sigh and he turns to look at Ryan. "Ryan… When I said I wanted to get drinks as friends, I wasn't being completely honest."

Ryan snorts. "Like I didn't figure that one out."

Rick gives him an irritated look and Ryan can't help but grin. Rick pointedly ignores it and Ryan wonders how come it seems so easy to fall back into previous habits. "I want to talk to you about what happened…between us. I want to talk things through."

Ryan sighs and leans his head against the bar for a few minutes before looking back up at Rick. Rick's looking at Ryan with dark eyes and for a minute Ryan just looks his fill for a while, just to appreciate the clear cut lines of his face; Then he nods. "Where do you want to start?"

Because Ryan should have realized that this was going to happen sooner or later. This has been brewing for four years, being put under high pressure during the time they say each other when Ryan started working at the lab. They're both very stubborn people.

He hesitates for a minute. "The day you left."

Ryan stubbornly refuses to look at him and then nods. "Alright."

TBC


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter 4

Ryan braces himself for the conversation, because there is no way in hell that it's going to be easy. He sort of has an idea of what Rick might want to know about what happened that day, and Ryan isn't entirely sure that he'll be able to explain it. Or, more likely, he won't be able to explain it in a way that actually makes sense. Ryan has always had difficulties in explaining his thought processes in words, out loud, to other people.

"Why did you leave that day, Ryan?" Is the first question that Rick asks.

Ryan clears his throat, sips his coffee and decides not the fidget in his seat. "It seemed like the best thing to do. I mean, it wasn't like we didn't talk about breaking up."

Rick makes a sound that is supposed to convey his annoyance. Ryan hates that sound. "I know we talked about it, Ryan. But that's not my point here. We never made any decisions. We kept going round in circles but we didn't come up with any kind of satisfying solution."

Ryan frowns. "I came up with a solution, obviously."

"I said 'satisfying', Ryan."

Ryan both hates and loves it when Rick talks to him like that. Hates it, because sometimes it sounds as if Rick is talking to a child. Loves it, because it's snarky and funny and Ryan loves Rick when he's snarky and funny, which is, surprisingly maybe, a lot of the time when he's not working.

"Look, Ryan, if you wanted to break up with me because you didn't want to be in a relationship with me anymore, because you were bored or because you were tired of me or didn't love me anymore, just tell me. But breaking up with me because of the problems we discussed is a weak excuse."

Now that makes Ryan angry, because it's not a weak excuse. He knows Rick, knows how important his career is to him. He knows how much work Rick put into qualifying for the lieutenant position, he knows how much Rick wanted that. Not even to mention how much Ryan enjoys his own job, that he has ambitions of his own. Their relationship could have been a problem, could have stood in the way of that and neither of them were entirely willing to give up their jobs for their relationship.

"I didn't break up with you because I didn't love you anymore and it's not a weak excuse! If word had gotten out about out relationship we could have kissed our careers goodbye and you know it. We weren't willing to give up our careers for our relationship."

"But I wasn't willing to give up our relationship for our careers either." Rick hisses at him.

Ryan frowns at him and wants to say something hurtful and spiteful, something that he can take aim with and watch hit home. But he doesn't, mostly because he can't think of anything that won't hurt too much and cause irreparable damage. Instead he stares into his coffee and wishes he ordered a beer instead.

"I didn't see any other way." Ryan said, "you were going to be made Lieutenant."

"But I wasn't." Rick said. "Horatio got the job and I came home to an empty apartment."

Ryan doesn't react to that, but secretly thinks that actually explains a lot in the way he deals with Horatio. "So you decided to go with IAB and act like an ass every time you go by the lab?"

"The only way for me to get a shot at becoming a Lieutenant is through IAB, that's not my choice." Rick says, his tone isn't as defensive as it might have been.

"But being an ass is." Ryan points out.

Rick glares at him, but Ryan can tell there's no real heat behind it, only a vague impression of amusement. Ryan smiles back at him and takes another sip of his coffee.

"Why now, though? Why decide to talk about it now? Why didn't you come after me the day I left?" Ryan asks.

Rick shrugs and Ryan watches the muscles shift beneath the fabric of his vest. "You were pretty clear about what you wanted. And I have to admit…. Back then I thought that maybe you were right, no matter how much it hurt."

Ryan winces at that.

"So I figured I would move on with my life, I was doing great until you started working at the lab. It was much more difficult then, to not think about you, to not go over everything that happened, to not rethink and redoubt every decision that we made about our relationship. Especially the last ones. And… I don't know, maybe today was just a breaking point."

Ryan gets a feeling that Rick isn't telling him something, but decides to let it go for now.

Rick sighs and takes a sip of his own drink. "I needed to talk to you."

"And what exactly did you want to achieve with this conversation?" Ryan asks, because if Rick hadn't asked him out here, he probably would have gone with Eric. And while Ryan has his doubts about Eric, it's been along time since anyone has shown any interest in him and it's been a long time since Ryan has felt such an attraction to someone.

Also, Eric is hot and Ryan hasn't had sex in a long, long time.

"Well, there are two things that could come out of this conversation." Rick says carefully and there's something in his tone that makes Ryan sit up and take notice. "We could finally find closure about the whole ordeal…. Or we could decide that you were wrong back then and try again."

And with those simple words the world stops turning.

Trying again isn't something that has even remotely entered the realm of possibilities. Sure, Ryan still holds a torch for Rick and the memories of their relationship have been keeping him going for a long time now, but trying again is something else entirely. Especially considering the fact that Ryan thought Rick had moved past it, moved past him.

"Try again?" Ryan asks, dumbly.

Rick nods, not saying anything and staring into his drink.

Ryan resists the urge to repeat himself again, just to hear the words out loud one more time and see Rick's reaction.

Trying again is probably not a good idea. Because basically all the problems they had are still there. They still have a big age difference, it could still damage their career and if push came to shove they wouldn't ever choose their relationship over their jobs. And maybe that was something that Ryan wanted, a love so big that he'd be willing to sacrifice nearly everything for it, including the one thing in his life that he valued the most, his career.

"We still have the same problems." Ryan says, although his voice doesn't seem to have the same conviction he has. "The age difference…."

"Won't seem so big anymore. The older you become, the smaller age differences become. I mean, there's a huge difference between, let's say, 14 and 21. But when you're 51 and 58, that gap doesn't seem so big anymore. You're older now, Ryan. You're not as young as you used to be."

"Your example is kind of extreme." Ryan says, because he can't really refute that.

Rick shrugs. "I know, but it gets my point across."

"It could damage our careers." Ryan says.

Rick turns to look at him. "The biggest problem we had at the time, was because of the recent events with that guy who had to quite his job because of his relationship becoming public knowledge. That pressure isn't there anymore. Also, a lot has changed over the last couple of years, public opinion has changed, certain policies have changed, even tolerance on the force has changed in some degree."

Ryan wants to open his mouth to protest, but Rick stops with a gesture of his hand.

"I know that it's still risky, stuff like this isn't math or science. You can't be certain of people's reactions and the future is never certain. But… if it came to it, I'd quit my job and leave the state with you, if I had to, if you'd want me to."

Once again, the world stops spinning and Ryan just sits there, staring at Rick dumbly. The older man would give up his career for Ryan if it really came to it. Rick is willing to risk it, if Ryan wants to. Ryan is pretty sure that it's a revelation that Rick has discovered only in the past two years, or very recently. Ryan is pretty sure that Rick wouldn't have been able to walk away from his career back in the old days.

Ryan hesitates and takes a sip of his coffee, which has become a lot cooler now. "You want to try again."

It isn't a question, because Rick has made his stance on that point pretty clear actually.

Rick nods. "I do, actually. I haven't thought about it much, not consciously. I've tried to ignore it or push it away or suppress it somehow. But… I still care about you Ryan. And that's the honest truth. I want to try again."

Ryan knows how much it costs Rick to say all of that. Rick isn't someone who talks about his emotions freely, who doesn't always show them easily. Ryan can respect that, he's not too fond of overly mushy declarations of love either. But as declarations of love go, this one is pretty big for someone like Rick.

Rick sighs. "Of course, if you'd rather go out with Delko…."

Ryan frowns. "What?"

"I saw you and Delko at the crime lab. You guys seem pretty close."

Ryan blinks. "Is that what brought this all about?"

Rick frowns and Ryan recognizes the stubborn furrow that hides a petulant pout. "Maybe."

Ryan resists the urge to laugh, because the thought that Rick is 'maybe' jealous of Eric and that it 'maybe' prompted him to finally talk to Ryan again is just so typically Rick that it makes his stomach curl in the pleasant way. He releases a chuckle though.

"I'm not moving in with you immediately. We'll take it slow, with real dates like going to movies and having dinner. We'll see where it goes and we'll keep a low profile. But if anything serious starts happening, I want to tell Horatio." Ryan says, because those are the conditions and he knows that if he explains things to Horatio fairly before allowing the red head to draw conclusions, Horatio will probably stand by their side if the shit hits the fan.

"Why would you want to tell Horatio?" Rick says with something close to disgust in his voice.

Ryan respects Horatio a lot, probably in the same way that Rick doesn't and they might clash over that. It's something they'll have to work on. The fact that there is something to work on at all makes Ryan giddy.

"He's a possible ally." Ryan says.

Rick snorts. "Not if the baby of his team is dating the Big Bad IAB Man."

Ryan can't hold it this time and he laughs, long and loud because this is what he's been missing for a long time now without even knowing it. He misses Rick's sense of humour and his snark and his sarcasm and yeah, trying again is really starting to sound good.

To Be Continued….


	5. Chapter 5

Chapter 5

It doesn't take very long for Ryan to realize that "let's try again" is easier said then done, because things aren't easy. At all.

They fight a lot, more then Ryan remembers them fighting. But maybe they just have more things to disagree about now, more things to fight over. Like the lab and the people in it. Rick isn't someone who easily gets along with people. They're alike in that aspect, but at least Ryan makes an effort to get along with his co-workers, Rick would flip them the finger every time he ran into them if it wouldn't be highly unprofessional.

They fight over Horatio and the fact that Ryan wants to tell him, they fight over Eric flirting with Ryan all the time, they fight over the fact that Rick still wants to take down the team even though Ryan's on it. They also fight over the fact that they hardly ever see each other. The both of them are workaholics and so they hardly ever have the time to go out with each other whether it's for dinner or movie. And when they do go out, it's not unusual for one of them to get called back into work.

The dating thing and taking it slow aren't going very well.

The one thing they don't fight over, is whether or not they should just give up. Ryan thinks that, at least, is a step in the right direction. And it even seems somewhat as a strange improvement over what they used to have, when they never argued except about their break up even though neither wanted to walk away. The fact that they're willing to sacrifice so much in order for them to be together, combined with the moments when they're not fighting and when they're just spending time together, talking and laughing, more then makes up for all the fighting they do.

Besides, the make up sex is amazing.

After a while, when they settle into a routine, the fights gentle, become softer and it's just bickering over the same things over and over again. There's no heat in the words, no stings in the arguments and the insults. It's sort of soothing and Ryan likes it, despite sometimes thinking that relationships shouldn't be like that. Still, he doesn't believe that relationships are only fluffy kittens and warm and fuzzy feelings. That would be the most naïve thing he could do.

They keep it a secret from everyone in the lab and one the force, afraid of their reaction, and despite what Ryan told Rick, he hasn't told Horatio yet either. He wants to tell Horatio, but he's just a little bit worried about Horatio's reaction. After all, Horatio and Rick have a history of rivalry and anger and maybe even hatred that Ryan doesn't completely understand. What he does know is that neither Horatio nor Rick trust each other and it's a bit difficult for Ryan, because he trusts them both.

Rick moves in with Ryan after they've been dating for six months. Six months that passed surprisingly quickly. Ryan is surprised by the fact that he and Rick seem to be able to make it work, even though it's difficult and aggravating sometimes, it's working. Their relationship is working and it makes Ryan think back on all the years they've, he's, wasted. More and more he wishes that he never decided to walk away that day.

At the same time, he doesn't regret that decision at all. Because being away from Rick has allowed him to grow in a way that he probably wouldn't have if he'd stayed with Rick. It's not that Rick determined what Ryan thought or experienced, it's not like Ryan didn't have a life outside of Rick and their relationship back then. But the truth is that Ryan was young, very young. He knows now how young he was in a way that he didn't back then, and he realizes how much of an influence Rick's opinion had on him. Rick's opinion is still important to him, or important again, but it doesn't influence him as much as it used to.

He thinks that if he'd still been with Rick when he'd gotten the job at the crime lab, he probably would have had even more problems fitting in then he had already. He probably would have been weary of his co-workers, because of Rick's opinion of them. He would have had problems with trusting Horatio and Horatio, doubtlessly, would have picked up on that. Maybe he would have decided not to work at the lab at all, not wanting to work with the kind of man Rick thought Horatio was.

And despite everything, Ryan loves working at the lab.

So their relationship is different, at least, to Ryan it feels different from what it used to be. It's less consuming and Ryan likes it like that. He likes the way that Rick has less sway over him, how he stands more secure in his feet. He likes the challenge that is now being with Rick, how they clash but still mesh. He likes the arguments and the fights, even when he doesn't like them. It's all very confusing, but makes sense in a way that Ryan is sure wouldn't make sense to anyone else. Especially not to anyone in the lab.

When he and Rick decide to move in together, they keep it quiet. And what Ryan's most surprised at is that moving in together is Ryan's idea. He wants Rick to move in with him partly because it'll make it easier for them to spend time together instead of trying to co-ordinate their schedules and partly because he remembers what it was like living with Rick. He liked living Rick, that doesn't mean that it was all roses and sunshine, but he liked living with Rick.

It seems that his memory didn't fault him and Ryan finds himself enjoying life in a way that he hasn't in a very, very long time.

Of course, they have a fight about it first. Ryan wants Rick to move in with him and Rick wants Ryan to move in with him. Neither of them wants to give up their current place of residence. Rick loves his apartment, the apartment where he and Ryan had lived together before their break up. But Ryan loves the house he'd gotten a year after he'd started working at the crime lab. The fight wasn't pretty.

But after a convincing argument Ryan wins. He promises Rick privacy and more room for all of Rick's books and sex in Ryan's Jacuzzi. Rick caves and only mutters about Ryan cheating.

It's around this point in time that Ryan decides telling Horatio is necessary. He and Rick fight over it, but even during the fight Ryan finds that they're making progress. They go from whether to actually tell Horatio or not to where they're going to tell him to who's going to tell him. Rick settles on telling Horatio at the crime lab in Horatio's office, blinds drawn. Ryan will do all the talking, since it's Ryan's fault Rick points out, but Rick will be there too for moral support. Rick says he wants to wear Kevlar and Ryan tells him to stop whining.

They're in Horatio's office and the blinds are drawn, as Ryan and Rick had agreed. Rick is standing near the door, in case he needs to make a quick get away and Ryan is standing in front of Horatio's desk. Horatio is standing behind his desk chair, his hands resting on the back rest of the leather chair. He's calmly studying both Ryan and Rick at the same time, his mind is already running with possibilities why the two of them could be here.

Ryan clears his throat nervously. "Horatio, there is something I feel I need to tell you."

Horatio nods, listening attentively while his mind keeps trying to process the situation and draw the right conclusion. Ryan had been the one to ask Horatio if they could talk in private, that it was important that no one else over heard what Ryan has to say. He asked if they could discuss it in Horatio's office, the blinds drawn. Horatio had agreed and had been surprised when they'd gotten to his office to find Stetler already there.

At first he thought that Stetler had just chosen a coincidentally inappropriate moment to talk to Horatio about something, but then he saw the look exchanged between Stetler and Ryan, one of those silent shared looks. He'd immediately realised that Stetler was here because Ryan had obviously asked him to be here. Or maybe both Stetler and Ryan needed to talk to Horatio about the same thing, maybe they'd discussed the need to talk to Horatio together, a thought that gave Horatio an uncomfortable feeling in his stomach.

"Some people think that what I'm going to tell you is a private matter," Ryan continues, glancing at Stetler as he does so, "but it's a delicate situation and I think that telling you now might be more beneficial for my, our careers."

Horatio resists the urge to raise his eyebrows at that one. He can read between the lines and Ryan is clearly implying that whatever Ryan feels the need to confess to Horatio now could damage his career. It's also obvious that by telling Horatio, he hopes that Horatio will stand by his side if the shit hits the fan. Horatio hopes that he won't have to disappoint Ryan. On the other hand, it seems that Stetler is involved in whatever could damage Ryan's career and apparently, it could damage Stetler's career too. Horatio is sure he's not going to like what's coming next.

Ryan has been doing good lately, Horatio's noticed. It started about six month ago, Ryan had become happier somehow, more alive. He's become more cheerful, taking a greater satisfaction in his work. It's not that he's never taken satisfaction in his work before, but there seems to be something more now. At first Horatio thought that it might have been because of his improved relationship with Eric.

The animosity that had been building between Eric and Ryan ever since Ryan's brief stint with Erica Sykes, has disappeared. And now there is a friendly air between the two of them and Horatio has noticed the way Eric now flirts with Ryan. If he thinks back the change in Ryan's demeanour coincided with Eric cleaning up his act. Horatio thought for a while that Eric might have finally made his move on Ryan and that they'd gotten together.

However, a couple of weeks ago Horatio had seen Eric kissing a tall, brown-haired young woman in the parking lot, so he's pretty certain that a new relationship isn't the cause of Ryan's sudden happiness. He doesn't think that Ryan is the kind of man who will allow an open relationship and Eric, despite his player attitude, isn't the kind of man to cheat on someone he genuinely cares about.

He hopes that whatever has happened isn't going to take away Ryan's newfound joy in life. His eyes flicker briefly to Stetler. If Stetler is involved in whatever this is, it can't be good, Horatio thinks as he watches Ryan take a deep breath, as if he's gathering all his courage to make his confession.

"Rick and I are dating." Ryan says.

Horatio has time for a brief moment of surprise at Ryan using Stetler's first name before the rest of his statement sinks in. For the first time in many, many years Horatio Caine is stunned speechless. He hadn't seen this coming, hadn't seen it coming at all. He's not used to not seeing things coming. He looks from Ryan and Rick and back again and carefully weighs his words.

"And how long have you been…dating?" He asks.

Ryan and Rick share another glance. "We've been dating for about six months now."

Something suddenly becomes frighteningly clear.

"But, Rick and I have history," Ryan continues, "we used to date before I came to the crime lab. It was pretty serious back then. But we broke up. There's a lot of history there and about six months ago, we decided to try again. I wanted to tell you, because something like this could damage our careers and I need someone we… someone I trust to stand in my corner if it should be necessary."

Horatio is oddly satisfied that Ryan admitted in a round about way that Stetler doesn't trust him, and he can safely conclude from that it was all Ryan's idea to tell him. He wonders how much they argued about this. He looks from Ryan to Rick again. He's honoured that Ryan trusts him enough with something like this and Ryan is a member of his team. He might not entirely trust Stetler or respect him, but…

Horatio nods. "Thank you for your trust, Ryan. If there is ever any talk of your relationship affecting your behaviour in the work place or any of the sort, I'll stand in your corner, as you put it."

The muscles in Ryan's shoulder relax a little bit, not enough that anyone besides Horatio, and probably Stetler, would notice. Horatio realizes that Ryan must have been afraid to come here, to come to him and he can understand why. He admires Ryan's courage for coming out with his relationship like this. He's not insulted by Ryan's fear, after all, Ryan probably wasn't afraid of Ryan's reaction to the fact that he's dating another man, but more to the fact that he's dating Rick Stetler.

But his respect and care for Ryan smothers any reaction he might have towards Ryan's relationship with Stetler, in front of Ryan anyway. Horatio's eyes narrow towards Rick for a second before flittering back to Ryan.

"You do realize, Mr. Wolfe, that I do expect you not to let this relationship influence your work." The warning isn't really necessary, it's more like reasserting his authority in this situation.

Ryan nods. "Of course H." And then he smiles, a smile Horatio has never seen on Ryan's face before. He can't resist the urge to smile back.

He turns to leave and Horatio watches him go. When he reaches the door, Rick, who hasn't said anything at all, turns to follow him. But Horatio clears his throat, making both men stop in their tracks.

"Can I talk to you for a second… Rick?" Horatio asks.

Horatio might accept Ryan and Stetler's relationship, but that doesn't mean that he suddenly has an unshakeable faith in Rick Stetler. He doesn't, he still doesn't trust Stetler. He knows that part of that is because Rick is IAB and while IAB is necessary, everyone is suspicious of IAB. But another part of it is just because Stetler is Stetler and he and Horatio have history and Stetler wants to take down Horatio's team, which is something that is nearly unforgivable to Horatio.

Ryan and Stetler share a look, speaking without words and then Stetler nods, nudging Ryan forward slightly. Ryan nods back and then leaves, looking back on his shoulder once before disappearing down the corridor. Horatio studies the interaction with interest, noticing how Ryan defers to Rick and he concentrates on keeping the frown off his face.

"So, you and Ryan?" Horatio asks. He knows it sounds stupid, but he doesn't mind for now because he wants to provoke Stetler to give him an honest reaction. And Stetler always responds most truthfully when he's angry. Horatio knows that through experience.

Stetler approaches the desk until he's standing right in front of it. His body seems relaxed, a deceiving stance perhaps. "Yes, Ryan and I." Stetler says and his face is a calm mask of grey, blank stone.

"Ryan is a member of my team, Rick. I care a lot about him, like I care about any member of my team. I also know what you've done in the past in order to get to me. I know that you've gone after members of my team before just to hurt me where it hurts most. Now, I'm warning you, if you hurt Ryan or if you're just using him to get to me I will hunt you down."

Rick's face contorts into a grimace and he leans forward, his eyes are spitting fire and Horatio knows that any answer now will be as honest as Stetler ever gets.

"Not everything in Miami is about you, Horatio," Stetler hisses, his teeth grinding together, "I love Ryan," for a minute he seems startled by his own confession but then shakes it off, "I've worked hard so far to keep him by my side and I'm not going to let anyone tear that apart. Least of all myself. Using him to get to you will be the quickest way to lose him again and I'm not going to lose him just so someone like Delko," he spits the name like it leaves a sour taste in his mouth, "can pick him up again."

He glares at Horatio fiercely, then turns around and walks away, obviously still fuming. It'll probably spread some rumours because doubtlessly people saw Horatio, Ryan and Stetler all go into Horatio's office together. And doubtlessly they also saw Ryan leaving on his own, looking a bit unsure, only to have Stetler leave in a fit a few moments later. But at this moment, Horatio doesn't care.

Instead, he smiles and sits down in his desk chair. "Rick, you just told me everything I needed to know." He says to the empty room.

To Be Continued….


	6. Chapter 6

Chapter 6

Eric likes working at the crime lab, it's a job that he loves doing and he's good at it. He also likes the people who work there and he's, if not exactly friends, at least on good terms with pretty much everyone there. Especially the others on H's team, like Ryan, Calleigh and Alexx and of course, H himself. He likes working with them and he trusts them, he even loves them. They've become a part of his family. Calleigh is like one of his sisters and Horatio is like a second father to him, much like Alexx is the mother of the team.

And then there's Ryan. It's taken Eric quite a while before he managed to find a slot to fit Ryan into. Speed had been easy, he'd been like an older brother, watching over him and teasing him at the same time. But Ryan is different. Ryan is not only younger, he's also extremely attractive. Eric knows on an intellectual level that Speed was attractive too, but he wasn't attracted to him. But he is attracted to Ryan and has been for a very long time.

Eric knows that Ryan is attracted to him too. That time they kissed in the parking lot, Ryan's body told him all he needs to know. He likes Ryan, he's attracted to Ryan and he wants to take Ryan out on dates and screw him silly. He wants to kiss Ryan's mouth and wrap himself around Ryan's body. He wants to talk to Ryan for hours on end, wants to lie in the same bed as Ryan and just sleep. He wants to hold Ryan's hand and do silly 'couple-y' things together. And for a while it looked like Eric would get what he wanted.

But now things are different and Eric doesn't know why. Ryan still responds to his flirting, but he keeps his distance now. It's difficult to explain, but it's like Ryan's flirting is just in good fun now instead of honest interest. He can see it in Ryan's eyes, sees the distance there and Eric desperately wants to cross that distance. Ryan used to respond because he was seriously interested and while Ryan is still interested, still likes Eric, he's not willing to act on it anymore.

And Eric doesn't know what to do about it, he doesn't know what's changed and he doesn't know how to un-change it. If he talks to Calleigh about it, she'll giggle and tease him and in the end he'll have to figure it out on his own anyway because Calleigh doesn't fix his messes for him. He's pretty sure Horatio knows, Horatio knows everything to a scary degree, but he really, really doesn't want to ask Horatio. Then there's Alexx, he could ask Alexx, but it would be like asking his mom's advice on his love life and Eric's not quite willing to stoop to that level just yet.

So he decides that he'll try to solve the problem himself first.

He cranks up his flirting a little, invading Ryan's personal space a little bit more then he normally would, but Ryan just steps away. He tries to touch Ryan, but Ryan evades his hands without making it seem as if he is actively trying to avoid touching Eric. When Ryan's in the locker room Eric follows him and asks Ryan out for drinks, but Ryan always has other plans. And Eric doesn't think that it's just an excuse, because Ryan's not a good liar and liars don't use the same excuse over and over again.

He starts watching Ryan in the lab, trying to figure out what's changed. He knows it sounds stalker-like, but he can't help himself. He's very close to giving up and just going to Alexx or Horatio or Calleigh and beg for help on his knees when the universe seems to smile on him. He's on his way to the break room, about to push it open when he hears voices, Horatio and Ryan and he stops to listen.

"Enjoy your two days off, Mr. Wolfe." Horatio says and once again Eric is reminded of the fact that Ryan took Thursday and Friday off and he's not on call for the weekend. That means Ryan is about to enjoy a long weekend. The rumour mill hasn't offered any answers as to why Ryan took the days off and asking Ryan himself only gets him a mysterious smile.

"I plan to, H." Ryan sounds smug and expectant and happy all at the same time.

"You have plans with….?" Horatio trails off. He sounds slightly unsure in a way that Eric has never heard him sound before. Eric holds his breath.

"I do. We're having dinner at Mano's tonight and I'm taking him to meet uncle Ron tomorrow." Ryan sounds shy, as if he wants Horatio to approve. Eric is still holding his breath.

"So things are going well? No problems?" Horatio asks and he sounds curious, but there is a tone of something else that Eric doesn't understand.

"H, he's a good guy. I know you don't think so and I understand why, but he's a good guy. Even when he was being an ass, he was a good guy." And Ryan sounds certain and firm, steady.

"I'm glad for you, Mr. Wolfe." And Horatio sounds genuinely happy.

Eric quickly walks away, before he can hear anything else or before he's discovered, he's not entirely sure. He retreats to the locker room where he sinks down unto the bench and blankly stares at the row of lockers. His brain is still trying to process the information he's just heard and make sense of it in a way that won't make his heart ache in his chest.

He feels the urge to punch something because Ryan is seeing someone. And it's a male someone and Horatio knows about it. The small comfort is that Horatio doesn't seem to approve overly much of Ryan's choice of partner, but that doesn't really comfort Eric a lot, because at the same time Horatio is happy for Ryan, which means he doesn't entirely disapprove of Ryan's choice either. He really, really wants to punch something.

This is why Ryan has distanced himself, why the flirting has become playful teasing. This is why Ryan is no longer responding to Eric the way Eric wants him to. This is why Ryan isn't really interested anymore, or is no more willing to act on any attraction he might feel. He's seeing someone, and it's becoming serious, because he's meeting uncle Ron. And Eric knows enough of Ryan's family history to know that uncle Ron is the only family member who actually means something to Ryan.

Eric feels like punching something and there's a strange stinging behind his eyes that he furiously tries to blink away. He rests his face in his hands and thinks back on that time in the parking lot. Maybe he should have pushed back then? Because Ryan had still been willing then and everything had changed after that. Maybe Eric should have pushed, should have tried better at convincing Ryan to have that drink with him. Maybe then Ryan wouldn't have started dating that other guy.

Slowly, he stands and opens the door to his locker, he stares at its contents for a while, trying to figure out what he should do. He can keep doing what he's been doing. He can flirt with Ryan and wait for Ryan to come to him, which doesn't mean that he can't see anyone else in the mean time. He can also give up on Ryan completely and try to find someone else to have a real relationship with. Or….

He can find out what kind of guy Ryan is dating and try to steal Ryan away from him.

Eric hesitates for a split second and then closes the door to his locker and makes his way into the lab. He uses one of the computers to search the internet for the number to Mano's and writes it down on a notepad. He's been to Mano's before on a date, it's a cozy little Italian place that's perfect for private and intimate conversations. He rips the piece of paper from the notepad and stuffs it in his pocket. He goes back to the locker room, gathers his stuff and goes to his car.

He doesn't want to risk being over heard by anyone in the lab, it would reach Ryan in a matter of minutes because the rumour mill in the lab is like high school all over again. His shift is over so he has an actual excuse of being in his car instead of an issued county vehicle. He takes out his cell phone and dials the number to Mano's. He presses the cell phone to his ear.

"Yes, hello, this is Ryan Wolfe speaking. I would like to check on my reservation for tonight."

Eric nods at the voice on the other side of the phone.

"Yes, thank you. Could you repeat the time please? Thank you very much. Goodbye."

He hangs up and drums his fingers on the steering wheel. He's not entirely sure that this is a good idea. He wants to know who Ryan is seeing, but at the same time he's not sure he could handle knowing it. On the other hand, seeing Ryan's date might give him an impression of what kind of men Ryan is interested in, or at the very least give him the opportunity to scope out the competition.

He just hopes that Ryan doesn't see him there, because Ryan is probably smart enough to figure out that if Eric shows up there alone, coincidentally at the same Ryan is having dinner with a boyfriend he hasn't told anyone in the lab about, it's not so coincidental at all. That might sound paranoid to some people, but the truth is, when you work at the crime lab paranoia becomes second nature.

Eric doesn't really want to be subjected to Ryan's temper, which can be impressive and intimidating when Ryan feels justified. Eric has no illusions about the fact that Ryan would feel wholly justified in being angry at Eric for spying on his date, nor the fact that Ryan would actually be wholly justified in being angry.

But Eric has to know, he just has to. Part of it is curiosity, part of is wanting to know if he can spirit Ryan away from his date and another part of it is just Eric not believing that Ryan could possibly set aside his attraction for Eric so easily in favour of someone else. Ryan and he had a thing going on, something real between them that sparked and flared but was more then just fireworks. Eric wants to capture that, make it solid between them, make it more real by starting a life with Ryan.

He hasn't felt that for anyone in a very long time, if ever and, as is the way of people in love, is sure that he will never feel the same way about anyone besides Ryan.

Five minutes later, which are spent uselessly debating back and forth over whether he should go or not (useless, because he already knows well enough that he'll be going) he starts the car and peels out of the driveway. If he's going to casually sit at the bar at Mano's, watching out for Ryan and his mystery date, he'll have to look the part, which means changing his clothes. On his way to his apartment, he thinks that he'll probably want to get there about ten minutes late. Chances are that Ryan will scope out the bar for his date (and if Eric is there early, no doubt Ryan will see him when he's looking for said date). But if Ryan's already seated, his attention will be fully captured by his date and he won't notice the numerous people coming and going. And contrary to his usual preference, Eric doesn't want to be noticed today.

When he arrives at his apartment he makes himself coffee, checks his mail and answering machine and raids his refrigerator for something to eat. Contrary to popular belief, Eric's refrigerator is well stocked, not with mouldy old take out boxes or with plastic containers filled to the brim with his mother's cooking, but with fresh vegetables, cheese, fresh fruit and other healthy food snacks. To have a body like Eric had, you had to eat properly and work out regularly.

He makes himself something easy and nutritious and ate it while thinking over his plan for the night. Basically, he'd change into something that would fit him well enough so he wouldn't look out of place at the bar, but wouldn't make him look so good he would stand out. He'd leave on time, park far enough away from the restaurant so that Ryan wouldn't have any way of recognizing Eric's car. Then Eric would wait until ten minutes had past the appointed time and he'd enter the restaurant and casually find himself a seat at the bar. Then he'd scope the room filled with small tables for a sight of Ryan and, by association, Ryan's date.

After his quick meal he goes into the bedroom and casts a critical eye on his wardrobe. He decides on a pair of slacks, the kind he only keeps for fancy occasions and a simple dark blue button down shirt with a black dinner jacket to match the slacks. It looks good on him, Eric decides, but not too good. It won't make him stand out, but it'll make him casually blend in. He decides not to think it disturbing that he's putting so much thought into this.

He leaves in time and sticks to his plan. He parks away from the restaurant and waits until it's ten minutes past. He gets out of the car, locks the door and walks towards the restaurant at a casual pace. He doesn't want to draw attention to himself and walking too briskly might do that, but walking too slow and getting in the way of the people behind him might do the same thing. When he arrives at the restaurant, he doesn't stop in the entry way to look at the tables, which could have drawn attention to himself, instead he directly makes a beeline to the bar. He chooses a stool which is two stools removed from the entry way to the dining area. A young, blond woman sits on the first stool to the dining area and smiles at him.

He smiles back at her, but reservedly. He's friendly without being flirty. He orders a drink, because not ordering while sitting at the bar would seem odd. Then, he casually turns sideways on this stool so he can overlook the seating area. The young, blond woman obstructs his view only a little bit and not too heavily. By the time he's found Ryan it's already eighteen past and Ryan is still sitting alone at his table.

For a moment he thinks that Ryan might have seen him. If Ryan's already there, but his date isn't, it's probable that Ryan's been watching the entry way and saw Eric come in. Almost immediately after the thought crosses his mind, he dismisses it. If Ryan saw him enter, he would have approached Ryan by now. And, Eric decides as he watches Ryan, if Ryan's date isn't there yet, he's not watching the entrance.

He takes a moment to appreciate the way Ryan looks and it's obvious he's done his best to look good tonight. Ryan's wearing a forest green shirt with the top buttons unbuttoned. If Eric has to guess, he might guess that the material is silk. The thought makes Eric want to run his hands over Ryan's silk covered shoulders. Ryan's also wearing a black jacket over his shirt and Eric guesses that Ryan is wearing black slacks and loafers, but he's not sure because Ryan's invisible from the waist down thanks to the table.

For a minute Eric thinks that Ryan might have been stood up, that Ryan's date isn't coming. The thought manages to make him feel better, to give him hope. But soon he notices that Ryan isn't acting like someone who's waiting in vain, with the vague realisation that he might be being stood up. Instead, he's sitting there patiently. He doesn't check his watch, he doesn't play with his napkin or his menu, he's not casting nearly frantic glances to the entrance, he hasn't even ordered anything to drink yet. All the signs of someone waiting on someone else while already partially knowing that the someone else won't show are missing. In fact, Ryan's calm behaviour and seemingly cool acceptance of the situation seems to indicate that this isn't an isolated occurrence. It seems as if Ryan even anticipated having to wait for a while.

Five minutes later, Ryan is still sitting alone and Eric checks his watch. He debates going over there, because it's been twenty-three minutes now, which is close to half an hour and there is no way that someone is half an hour late to a date without even calling. Of course, Eric thinks, it's possible that whoever it is called Ryan before Eric got the restaurant. Maybe he should have come earlier. The young, blond woman gives him another flirtatious smile, but Eric still doesn't smile back with his own flirtatious smile. Eric doesn't want to ruin any potential opportunity tonight by being weighted down by a meaningless lay hanging on his arm.

He stands from his seat and goes to the bathroom and returns to find Ryan still sitting alone at the table. He chooses a new stool at the bar, one that puts him closer to Ryan's table, but is behind a dining booth. The booth is shielded from the bar by a marble balustrade, which is about waist level on which a potted plant stands. It's much more hide-out like then his previous position at the bar and there are no flirty blonds to distract him. Eric suddenly finds himself uncomfortable with how much he's acting like a creepy stalker.

And then suddenly, it happens. Eric turns away from Ryan's table for a brief moment to order another drink, a non-alcoholic one this time when he hears Ryan's voice over the noise of the dining room.

"There you are, I was beginning to think you weren't going to show."

If Eric didn't already know that it's a lie, Ryan's tone of voice would have given it away. He sounds flirty and shy and confident and comfortable all at once. Eric's first instinct is to turn around quickly to see who Ryan is speaking to. But he curbs the instinct, eyeing the potted plant on the marble edge. His stool stands too close to the thing, any sudden movements might tip it over.

"I know, I'm sorry. I was bogged down at work. I was talking to… someone and I just couldn't break it off without damaging the case."

Case – it's someone who works on or with cases… lawyer, doctor, social worker, a cop, the list goes on…

"By the time I was finished I just got in my car and drove straight here." The guy's voice sounds familiar, but Eric can't pinpoint it. Maybe it's one of the cops from patrol, someone Ryan used to know before his time at the lab?

"That's okay, I understand. Just don't be late tomorrow." Ryan's voice still has that teasing quality, taking the sting out of the very real warning.

Eric takes his drink in hand and slowly, casually turns on his stool, avoiding the potted plant and looking straight at Ryan's table. The shock of who Ryan is dining with almost makes him drop his glass. He realizes that if he hadn't been stunned voiceless at the identity of the date, he might have screamed in horror.

Because across from Ryan at the dinner table, looking like he did came straight from work, is Rick Stetler.

RICK STETLER!

Without looking, Eric moves his arm to put the glass back onto the bar. Stetler leans forward and whispers something to Ryan that Eric can't hear. Ryan laughs, a genuine, shy laugh that bares all his teeth and makes his shoulders shake gently. The kind that only lets out a breath, no sound and it seems small, but Eric is jealous of it anyway, jealous that Stetler, of all people can make Ryan laugh that like.

Briefly Eric hopes that it's all a big misunderstanding. That somehow, someway, Ryan and Stetler are working on a case together and are meeting up to discuss the details. Or maybe they need to make it look as if they're working on something together because they need to flush someone out. Maybe Eric should have continued eavesdropping on Ryan's conversation with Horatio and then maybe, just maybe, Eric would have heard something that would explain all this without using the words 'Ryan', 'relationship' and 'Stetler' in the same sentence.

But then he sees the way Ryan looks at Stetler, the way Stetler looks at Ryan. He sees how their fingers are softly reaching for each other across the table. He sees how they bend forward, towards each other as if to make the intimate setting even more intimate, shutting out the world around them. And then Eric feels dirty, as if he's violating Ryan by witnessing this intimate moment, this connection. Eric wants to hit something again.

This can't be happening, it just can't. How can Ryan choose someone like Stetler when he knows, must know, that he can have Eric? The thought, the knowledge, makes absolutely no sense to Eric. He watches Ryan and Stetler together for a moment longer until he just can't take it anymore. The knowledge that Stetler is Ryan's date is making him angry and Eric knows himself well enough to know that when he's angry, he gets irrational and impulsive.

Without finishing his drink, he stands up from his stool and leaves the bar. He controls himself enough to make every moment fluid and therefore, subtle, unnoticeable. He leaves Mano's and walks to his car. He gets behind the wheel and simply stares out of the windshield for a while.

What is he going to do? He's not entirely sure, but he knows that he won't just accept what he's seen. It can't be too difficult to steal Ryan away from Stetler, Eric thinks. He just needs to figure out why Ryan is with Stetler in the first place, there has to be a reason, something besides the usual reason why people date each other. There has to be, there is no other explanation for what he's seen tonight.

And then, with bright clarity, he knows what to do. He starts the car and drives off.

To Be Continued…


	7. Chapter 7

Chapter 7

There isn't a lot that Horatio Caine isn't prepared for in life. He's seen a lot of things, done even more things and has learned to always expect the worst in any given situation. It stands to reason that when he's disturbed from his quiet night in with a book and a glass of red wine by someone pressing the doorbell in a rapid pattern the first thing on his mind is to make sure he has his gun on him and that it's loaded.

It's a little surprising that it's Eric who's standing in front of his door, although not entirely unexpected. He's well aware that Eric's been getting a bit frustrated lately with Ryan's response, or more probably the lack thereof, towards Eric's flirting. If Eric wants information about why that might be true, he has three people to go to, Alexx, Calleigh and Horaito.

Horatio examines that thought for a moment and then decides that if anyone would put any effort in trying, (or would even think about trying it), Valera would probably know a lot more about everyone in the lab then anyone realized.

On the other hand, Eric is a proud man and it's unlikely that he'd be willing to go to anyone for help on getting Ryan's interest. And he probably wouldn't want Alexx and Calleigh finding out about his little crush, if they don't know already, and tease him mercilessly about it. But why would Eric come to Horatio? While it is true that Horatio tries to come across as friendly and trustworthy towards the people who work for him, he is well aware of the fact that he isn't considered to be the most approachable man in the city. (Whether that is because of his position in the lab, the intensity with which he deals with people or the way he tends to over analyze any interaction and conversation, depends from person to person.)

So while Eric is closer to Horatio then most of the people who work in the lab, he is well aware that he normally wouldn't be the first person on Eric's list to talk to about Ryan. So either Eric has already talked to Alexx and Calleigh without Horatio knowing about it and he doesn't have any options left, or there is entirely something else on Eric's mind. Horatio doesn't think much of either of those possibilities. So what could have…..?

His mind quickly searches through all the last few interactions he's had with both Eric and Ryan, separately and together, in the last few weeks and can only come up with one possible solution. Eric has come to the conclusion that Ryan has been seeing someone, has decided to do some investigating and has either found out nothing for certain and is at the end of his rope, or he's seen Ryan with Stetler. Horatio suspects that the former would have driven Eric to seek some friendly company in a club and only the later would have compelled Eric to seek out Horatio.

None of these thoughts show up on his face, of course, and that combined with his iron memory and his quick thinking, make him a formidable CSI. They also serve to make him a less then sociable person, which Horatio is all too aware off, but he's been set in his ways too long to change any of that. (Even if he knew how.)

So when he opens the door and sees Eric standing in front of him, he merely smiles. "Eric, what brings you to my doorstep?" By the time he finishes that sentence he's on the brink of figuring it out himself.

Eric swallows, starts to respond, and Horatio thinks he knows what it's about. "H! Ryan's in trouble, Stetler…" Eric's response only serves to confirm Horatio's suspicions when he remembers that Ryan and Stetler are having dinner at Mano's tonight and Horatio knows that it's a restaurant Eric has taken (successful) dates to.

Horatio sighs. "You'd better come inside, Eric." Eric steps inside, looking both agitated and curious. Horatio remembers that although Eric has dropped him off once, the younger man hasn't actually ever been inside his home before.

He leads Eric to the living room, where he motions for Eric to sit and wonders if it might be wise to make some coffee. When he looks at Eric's face, he doesn't want to risk adding caffeine to the agitated, half-angry energy making the Russian Cuban nearly vibrate on the spot. He briefly wishes that he'd considered putting the wine away before opening the door, because he definitely doesn't want to risk alcohol, but then concludes that Eric is too agitated to even care whether Horatio offers him something to drink or not.

"So, what exactly is your concern about Ryan and Stetler" Horatio asks, sitting down opposite Eric. He briefly considered sitting next to Eric, because sitting across from him at the dinner table might seem more like battle position. But he knows that Eric won't be comfortable with Horatio sitting so close.

"I saw them together," Eric says, "They were… I don't…" He seems to be struggling for words, his voice a mixture of anxiety and anger. "Ryan can't be doing this voluntarily!" He finally bursts out and Horatio sighs again. This could be difficult.

"Eric, I'm going to assume that you've concluded that Mr. Wolfe and Stetler are having a relationship?" Horatio says.

He watches as Eric pales and then reddens in quick succession.

"They're having a relationship? And Ryan is in it, willingly?" Eric asks.

Horatio can imagine what Eric is thinking. "You think that Stetler might be forcing Ryan into this through blackmail or because of his position in IAB?"

"What other reason could there be?" Eric asks.

"Maybe Ryan is doing this willingly." Horatio offers. He knows that it must be a nearly inconceivable thought to Eric, but he has to offer it nonetheless. Because Eric has to understand that this is something he can't interfere in. More then that, it's something Horatio won't allow him to interfere in. Ryan is happy with Stetler, and if Stetler messes things up that's his own fault and Horatio won't be sorry for him. But Horatio won't let Eric help Stetler mess things up.

"But it's Stetler!" Eric says, as if that's all the explanation he needs to offer to make Horatio understand why it's in impossible for anyone (much less Ryan) to date Stetler. And actually, if it hadn't been for the conversation Horatio's had with both Stetler and Ryan in his office, that would have been the only explanation needed. But things have changed, Horatio is slowly revising his opinion of Stetler. After all, a man who can make Ryan happy like that needs careful consideration.

"Eric, you need to understand that things aren't that simple. They have a history together that has nothing to do with you, me or the lab, Rick lost Ryan once and he assures me that he's not going to make the same mistakes twice." Horatio says.

Eric looks at him with a disbelieving expression on his face. "You've talked to Stetler about this?"

Horatio nods. "I've known about Ryan and Rick's relationship for quite a while now." It's not a coincidence that Horatio is suddenly using Stetler and Ryan's first names. "I'm sure that you're aware of that fact."

Eric blushes, but doesn't say anything.

"Rick seems to be making Ryan happy, Eric. He's assured me that their relationship won't affect their job and that he'll do anything to keep Ryan and make him happy." Horatio gives Eric a scrutinising look. "You may have a very long wait for Ryan."

Eric's whole demeanour seems to change with that sentence. He becomes flustered and looks away, clears his throat. "I don't know what you mean."

Horatio resists the tempting urge to roll his eyes and says. "Of course Eric, whatever you say." It sounds like an irritated parent indulging and belittling a spoiled child.

Eric turns to look at him and Horatio keeps eye contact to make sure that Eric knows Horatio's tone of voice was meant to sound so patronising.

Horatio slowly gets up. "I think, maybe it's time that you left, Eric. Any information you want on Ryan and Rick's relationship, you'll have to find out for yourself. Or you'll have to ask them, personally."

Eric looks up at him, doesn't move. "You're really letting Ryan do this?"

Horatio feels disconcerted for the moment that Eric seems to think anyone can or should stop Ryan from what Ryan wants to do, but then dismisses it. He knows very well that sometimes he does or says things about some things that other people would think was none of his business. Instead he gives Eric a level look and slowly shakes his head.

"I'm not his father, Eric."

"But…"

Horatio cuts him off with a sharp look. "And even if I was, do you think that short of keeping Mr. Wolfe under lock and key, that I could get him to stop? Ryan's his own man, Eric, and he's not going to allow anyone messing in his private affairs." It's as much a statement as it is a warning.

Eric slowly gets up, looking surprised and slightly betrayed. Horatio ignores both and leads Eric to the door. He briefly contemplates saying something to make Eric feel better, but then decides against it. He doesn't know how Eric saw Ryan and Stetler, but he doesn't think that it was a coincidence. If you can't handle the truth, you shouldn't ask for it, Horatio thinks. Eric is going to have to deal with this himself.

Besides, Horatio is on Ryan's side in this matter and right now, he needs to make sure that Eric understands that. He needs to make sure that if Eric does something to compromise the team dynamic, Horatio will choose Ryan's side and Eric will take the fall. Horatio might not entirely approve of the relationship, but the truth is, the relationship seems to have only done a world of good for Ryan Wolfe. He's going to stand by Ryan, this time and Eric will have to accept that.

"Mr. Delko," Horatio says, "take the day off tomorrow. I don't want you to do or say anything that you might regret."

Eric looks at him for a moment, that look of uncertain betrayal still on his face. And then slowly, the expression fades into a combination weary resignation and angry resolution. "Right, thanks. Good night, H."

Horatio smiles, feeling that he's made himself clear enough to allow some friendliness to shine through. "Good night Eric."

To Be Continued….


	8. Chapter 8

Chapter 8

When Ryan looks up from collecting his evidence he sees Eric quickly looking away from him and frowns. Eric's been shooting him strange looks ever since he came back from his long weekend while pretending that he isn't. It's slowly, but surely, getting on Ryan's nerves. The only problem is that Ryan isn't sure how to deal with those looks, should he confront Eric about it or let Eric deal with whatever is bothering him and wait for him to come to Ryan?

He decides to put the matter out of his head for now and focus on the case instead. He catches Eric looking at him a few more times, but ignores it. When Ryan gets up to report his findings to Horatio, he sees Horatio, who looks as impassive as ever, talking to Eric, who looks sheepish and annoyed at the same time.

"Don't let it interfere with your work, Mr. Delko. If you can't let this go, I'll have you take time off until you do."

It's only a snippet of the conversation that Ryan catches, but it' enough to let him know he doesn't want to hear any more. He's never heard Horatio refer to Eric as Mr. Delko before and H is using his 'Don't bullshit me' tone of voice. Horatio hardly ever uses that kind of tone when he's talking to a team member, not even when he's reprimanding them for something or other. He backs up a couple of steps until he's out of hearing range and waits patiently until Horatio and Eric finish their conversation.

Eric turns around and walks to the other side of the crime scene when they're finished and Ryan approaches Horatio. He quickly reports his findings and Horatio nods, talks to him about certain theories and then orders him to go back to the lab and deal with all the trace evidence. Horatio shoots a glance at Eric.

"You and Eric shared a car on your way here?" Horatio asks.

Ryan nods. The ride had been uncomfortable and tense even though Eric tried to pretend that everything was perfectly fine.

"You go ahead and take the car back to the lab. I'll give Eric a ride when he's done here." Horatio says.

Ryan, a little surprised and confused, nods and starts packing up his evidence. He enlists the help of one the uniformed officers to carry his evidence back to the hummer. Before he gets in the driver's seat, he turns around to look at Eric and Horatio and wonders what the hell happened at the lab while he was away. He decides to ask Calleigh about it when he gets back to the lab.

While he drives, he thinks back on his long weekend and he can feel a silly smile spreading across his face. The dinner at Mano's was wonderful, even though Rick was late. Ryan didn't mind too much. The rest of the weekend went perfect. They spend a lot of time at the beach and Ryan couldn't have been happier when his uncle Ron and Rick seemed to get along perfectly. Ryan had been worried that Ron would disapprove of Ryan dating someone who was quite a few years older then him, but it seemed his worries had been unfounded.

Rick and Ron had gotten along amazingly and it was obvious to Ryan that Rick had been on his best behaviour. When they'd been dating four years ago, Ryan had never had the courage to tell Ron about his relationship. Ryan had been much younger, Rick had seemed so much older and while Ryan had admitted to seeing someone and that it was getting serious, he'd never introduced his uncle to his lover. So when Ryan had made the decision to have them meet, it had made him anxious. He'd never been more relieved when they seemed to genuinely enjoy each other's company.

He arrives at the crime lab not too long after that and quickly focuses back on the case. He meets up with Calleigh in the trace lab and they go over the evidence together. Working with Calleigh is soothing, because she's meticulous and organized and she likes discussing theories. If he's honest, Ryan thinks he might like working with Calleigh the most, because she's one of the most sensible people he knows.

"So did something happen while I was away?" He asks her when they start packing up some of the evidence. They still have to do some tests, but the pieces of the evidence they've already processed can be put away now.

She looks at him carefully, a curious look on his face. "Not really, why? Did you expect something to happen?"

He shakes his head and bags the bloody rags they'd found on the crime scene, writes his initials on the opening he'd made and puts in the larger box. "No, but… I get the feeling there's something going on between Horatio and Eric. So I was wondering if maybe they'd had an argument."

Calleigh looks thoughtful while she puts some of the swabs they'd collected to the side and reaches for the smashed sunglasses. "I didn't see an argument between those two and I haven't heard anything about it either. But now that you mention it…. Eric wasn't here on Thursday and when I asked Horatio about it, he said that Eric had taken the day off. And when he came back on Friday, he was really grumpy. And Horatio has been keeping a close eye on him."

Ryan nods, mulling over Calleigh's words. "But nothing happened at the lab?"

Calleigh shook her head. "Not that I know off, and with the way gossip travels around here, I would have known about it" She hesitates for a moment. "So, if something did happen, it must have happened after their shifts were up. But as far as I know, Eric and Horatio don't have the habit of meeting up together after work."

"Maybe they were on a date and it didn't go well?" Ryan offers jokingly.

Calleigh giggles. "Now that would be the day….Although, you know I've never seen or heard about Horatio dating anyone, man or woman."

Ryan blinks. "I was joking."

Calleigh grins. "I know. You've just got me wondering, that's all. But I know for a fact that Eric isn't interested in Horatio that way. He's interested in someone else."

The look she gives him is meaningful and Ryan blushes, looking away. He knows that she must be curious as to why he suddenly started ignoring Eric's flirting, as he'd responded before. He's actually quite surprised that she hasn't asked him about it much sooner, especially considering that it's already been six months. He hasn't told anyone in the lab yet about him and Rick, because that's what they decided, but still… Calleigh is his friend.

"I know, Calleigh." Ryan says. "But I'm not interested."

Her eyes practically light up at the opening he's given her. Ryan is a very private person and doesn't talk about his private life often. To be honest, Calleigh doesn't know half as much as she'd like to know about Ryan, because he keeps everything so very close to heart. She's been slowly working at him to open more and he is, to a certain degree, trusting her more and more with information about his personal life. But there are still some things he doesn't discuss with her, like his love life.

"You used to be." Calleigh says. She's not putting the evidence away anymore. Instead, all her attention is focused on Ryan, who is stubbornly not looking at her and packing away everything he collected from the crime scene.

"I was, but… I've gotten back together with someone I broke up with a couple of years ago." Ryan offers quietly.

Calleigh bites her lip. "And you choose him over Eric?"

Ryan shakes his head. "It's not that easy. Yes, I was interested in Eric, but I was also still in love with the person I'm currently seeing. And when I had the chance to try again, I just had to take it. Eric didn't enter the equation because he wasn't a part of that situation. I was interested in Eric, but I wasn't in love with him."

Calleigh nods slowly, taking in the words. "I see. I'm guessing you're not going to tell me who this person is?"

Ryan shakes his head again. "No, I'm not. It's not that I don't trust you, Calleigh. But we decided that it was best if as little people as possible know about it. So, I'd appreciate it if you kept all of this to yourself."

Calleigh smiles. "Of course Ryan." Now that he's finally confided in her, Calleigh isn't going to just throw that trust away and go blabbing to everyone in the lab. "Just tell me, does he make you happy?"

Ryan smiles widely. "He makes me very happy, Calleigh."

"Well, then I'm happy for you."

"Thanks, Cal, you're the greatest."

Together they continue to put away the evidence in the evidence locker. It doesn't take long for Calleigh to leave for ballistics where she has some evidence of her own waiting and Ryan decides to start on some tests in the trace lab. He makes some additional notes in the case file and allows the tests to run to their conclusion. He ads the results to the case file and puts it away in the evidence box in lock up. He's already been working an hour over time and he'll get a new start on the case tomorrow morning, bright and early.

He puts a dirty shirt from his locker in his bag and closes the door to his locker. That's when he feels a hand on his shoulder. Ryan nearly jumps out of his skin. He hadn't heard anyone come in and there hadn't been anyone in the locker room when he'd come in.

"Sorry man, didn't mean to startle you."

Ryan turns around and nearly jumps again when he sees how close Eric is standing to him. Eric's no longer touching him, but Ryan can feel the heat from his body. He wants to back away, put space between him, but the lockers are behind him and he doesn't want Eric to know how much he wants to get away by slamming himself against the locker door.

Ryan hopes fervently that Rick won't suddenly come in, because his older lover has a tendency to jump to conclusions and gets jealous easily. It's not a very good combination.

"That's okay. I guess I'm a bit jumpy." Ryan offers lamely.

Eric nods, his eyes trailing over Ryan's face. He's leaning in and Ryan can guess what Eric is thinking, what he's going to do. He puts a hand on Eric's chest as if to hold him back. "Eric, don't." He murmurs, but Eric doesn't listen.

The next thing Ryan knows is that Eric is kissing him fervently, deeply and Ryan increases the strength behind his hand until he's pushing against Eric's chest. Eric, however, ignores his push and braces his hands against the lockers behind Ryan, crowding Ryan against the metal surface and pressing his body along side Ryan's.

Realizing that pushing isn't helping, Ryan allows his body to become slack and doesn't respond to the kiss. After a while, Eric pulls away, but stays close enough so that he's nearly looming over Ryan. They're both panting, Eric from desire and Ryan because he's out of breath. Ryan can feel Eric's erection against his thigh. But Ryan isn't turned on at all. He probably would be, under normal circumstances, but Ryan is angry and that tends to take all the arousal out of him.

Unless when he's fighting with Rick, then anger and arousal are nearly the same thing, but that's besides the point.

Ryan is debating whether or not to slap Eric when Eric goes in for another kiss and Ryan pushes him away with a lot more force then he normally would have used.

"What do you think you're doing?" Ryan asks angrily.

"I'm kissing you, that's what I'm doing." Eric answers and there's an angry sort of calm to his words.

Ryan glares. "What part of "Eric, don't" don't you understand?"

Eric takes a step forward. "I know you liked it."

Ryan gives him an incredulous look and resist the urge to hit Eric right in the face. "And in which point in time did I indicate that I liked it?"

Eric gives him an angry look. "I know you like kissing me. That time I kissed you in the parking lot, I know that you liked it!"

"Yes, Eric, I liked it then, because I was interested then. I'm not interested anymore and I believe that I've made you aware of that when I stopped responding to your incessant flirting." The only thing preventing Ryan from yelling is the fact that they are still at work and Ryan doesn't want every single one of his co-workers to know where this is heading.

Eric takes another step forward and Ryan quickly moves to the side so that he's standing more in the middle of the hallway that is the locker room. He doesn't want to be cornered against the lockers again.

"But I can tell you're still interested. Nothing has changed." Eric says and Ryan doesn't know who he's trying to convince.

"I'm seeing someone, Delko." Ryan says and the use of Eric's last name is deliberate.

Eric narrows his eyes. "You're seeing Stetler, it can't possibly be serious!"

Ryan can feel all the blood draining from his face and he stares at Eric dumbfounded. "How do you know that?"

Eric dismisses his question with a wave of his hand. "That doesn't matter. I know you're seeing him. How could you be dating Stetler, of all people?"

Ryan can feel the white hot anger rushing at him. "What's that supposed to mean!"

"It's Stetler!"

Ryan grabs his bag and slings it over his shoulder. "What exactly is pissing you off more? The fact that I didn't chose you? Or the fact that I chose him?"

He told Calleigh that it wasn't about choosing, but he's too angry to care and right now he just wants to shut Eric up. If Eric wants to talk about it like the adult he's supposed to be, then Ryan is willing to do that. But right now, Eric is just making Ryan angry.

Eric clenches his fist. "Why would you choose Stetler when you can have me?"

Ryan glares at him. "Not everyone is willing to fall on their knees and beg you to take them as your lover. I liked you Eric and I was definitely attracted to you. But I love Rick, and that means more to me then someone I hardly know outside of work and who happens to be good looking."

Eric looks like he wants to say something else, but Ryan cuts him off. He needs to say everything there is to say, because he doesn't want to have this conversation ever again.

"The truth is Eric, there never was a choice. When Rick asked me to try again, the fact that I wouldn't be able to try anything would you was never a reason why I might not decide to try again. You were never part of the equation, you were outside of that. There was never any real competition."

Ryan knows the last line might be cruel, but it's necessary that Eric understands. To Ryan, it was never a choice between Eric and Rick, there was only try again with Rick or finally get over Rick.

Eric puts a step forward again and he's standing right in front of Ryan now. "Ryan… I want to be with you, for real. I love you Ryan."

Ryan wishes that Eric had never said that. "I'm sorry Eric, but I don't feel the same way."

Eric looks like he doesn't know what to do and Ryan thinks that Eric might not be used to being rejected in favour of someone else, especially in favour of someone Eric thinks isn't worth anything.

"And you won't change your mind?" Eric asks and Ryan recognizes the signs of a desperate man.

He shakes his head and the minute that he does, Eric steps forward. Ryan knows what he's going to do and he lets Eric steal the next kiss. It lasts a while, Eric wraps his arms around Ryan's waist and pulls him closer. Ryan allows Eric to move him, but doesn't move and doesn't participate.

Finally, they part and Ryan untangles himself from Eric's arms. He knows that it was Eric's last desperate attempt at changing Ryan's mind, but Eric could kiss him forever and the only person Ryan would want is Rick. This encounter has made everything even more clear.

Eric looks at him with soft eyes, pleading but Ryan shakes his head.

"I'm sorry Eric. I still want to consider you as my friend and I'm not going to treat you any different at work because of this. But I'm in love with Rick and things are pretty serious between us."

"I can't just walk away from you or how I feel about you. I can't just let this go. I know what H said, but…." Eric falls silent.

"You talked to H about this?" Ryan asks.

Eric shifts on his feet and sighs. "I saw you Wednesday night, at Mano's. I went to talk to H about it and he said… he said that I might have a long wait for you. I didn't, don't want to believe it. I've been trying to talk to you alone the whole day, but H has been keeping an eye on me, telling me to get over it."

So that's what's been going on between Eric and Horatio all day. Ryan can feel a rush of affection for Horatio. He hadn't thought that the red-haired man would go so far when he'd promised that he'd stand in Rick and Ryan's corner.

"Well, he's right. You should get over it." Ryan said.

"What if I can't?" Eric asks, a challenging look on his face.

"Then we can't even be friends anymore." Ryan says firmly.

He doesn't say anything else, he just hoists his bag higher up on his shoulder and walks around Eric to the exit. He makes his way to his car and dumps his backpack on the backseat. He checks his watch and realizes that his encounter with Eric had taken longer then he thought it had. He gets into the car and quickly peels out of the driveway.

He and Rick have plans for tonight. Rick is cooking. Ryan has no intention of being late.

The End


End file.
